I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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