Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
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New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
Semen is not good for contacts.
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
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i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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