She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
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