We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
I'm always down for nudity.
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
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