im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
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