I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
Randomize