im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
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i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
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You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
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