I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize