nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
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