Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
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I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
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