It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
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So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
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