she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
either way he was missing a nipple.
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
I'm way too hungover for life right now
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
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