Just made out with a pet sitter. His biz card says "even hamsters". Lowest point in my life.
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
Randomize