I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
I feel like I've been hit by a train. I woke up this morning covered in wine, free condoms, and a sign language dictionary.
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
Randomize