i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize