covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
Operation Purity has been aborted
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
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