did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
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