she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
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