Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
It's rum buckets o'clock
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize
