So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
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