the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
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