Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
Why did my mother make you get naked?
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize