Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
I need to wash the frat house off of me
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
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