I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
Randomize