Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
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