is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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