are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Randomize