I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
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i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
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