I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
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