I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
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