dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
He felt like a one man threesome
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
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