How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Randomize