I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
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