remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
3pm strippers are depressing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
Randomize