Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
Randomize