If i come over, it means nothing
Reflecting on last night, I'm not sure if making out with a 43 y/o married woman at Bernie's after the Cubs game was my best life decision...
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize