I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
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Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
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HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
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