allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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