Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
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i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
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Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
You had me at "let me see your balls"
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
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