How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
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