She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
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