Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
Randomize