Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Randomize