id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
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