WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
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Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
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Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
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