sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
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