Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(816): View more from Missouri

dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?

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(816): dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink? http://tfl.nu/aysx

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(215): View more from Pennsylvania

I cont stop tolking in a british axsent

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(215): I cont stop tolking in a british axsent http://tfl.nu/j2m9

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(650): View more from California

I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.

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(650): I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program. http://tfl.nu/1rj5

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(312): View more from Illinois

The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin

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(312): The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin http://tfl.nu/3kj0

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(813): View more from Florida

I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions

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(813): I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions http://tfl.nu/060m

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(912): View more from Georgia

I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.

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(912): I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars. http://tfl.nu/3pqt

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(925): View more from California

Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard

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(925): Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard http://tfl.nu/2caa

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(204): View more from Manitoba

You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.

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(204): You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome. http://tfl.nu/qhl9

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(509): View more from Washington

I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?

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(509): I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad? http://tfl.nu/r4ig

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(716): View more from New York

I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...

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(716): I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life... http://tfl.nu/ae71

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(925): View more from California

Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.

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(925): Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious. http://tfl.nu/2nhd

Replies (4) Good night (602) Bad night (1403)
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(347): View more from New York

She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.

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(347): She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school. http://tfl.nu/qubm

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(719): View more from Colorado

Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?

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(719): Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween? http://tfl.nu/i2fu

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(717): View more from Pennsylvania

all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"

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(717): all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever" http://tfl.nu/t8bi

Replies (7) Good night (215) Bad night (1192)
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(870): View more from Arkansas

I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"

(501): View more from Arkansas

I'll start the recruiting

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(870): I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!" (501): I'll start the recruiting http://tfl.nu/vx2o

Replies (2) Good night (861) Bad night (128)

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