i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
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