Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
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