She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
Randomize